


Ruined

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Prostitution, Sibling Incest, Slut Shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:36:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the kink meme: They try to hide it, but Kili notices that his mother and uncle have financial trouble, and he decides to help. By using his looks that are considered handsome by Man and selling his virginity in a brothel in a human town.</p><p>But not everything goes as planned, and even though he gets the money, he also gets a lot of abuse and bruises he didn't ask for. So when he comes back home bruised and battered, money in hand, refusing to tell them where it came from, his family thinks he must've stolen it.</p><p>Kili keeps silent until finally his brother gets through to him, and Kili just falls apart in Fili's arms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruined

**Author's Note:**

> From the kink meme, found here: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/5346.html?thread=11321570#t11321570
> 
> This fic contains prostitution, offstage noncon/rape, and slut-shaming (mostly internalized). Also the word whore gets thrown around.

Kili shivered, wrapping his arms tightly around himself and trying to ignore the sharp pain that came with every step as he limped back to his campsite. He clenched his fist tighter around the gold coins he had been given. The woman who owned the whorehouse had offered him a bed for the night, impressed by the price he had gotten, but Kili had needed to get out. He wanted Uncle Thorin to protect him and Mama to tell him everything was fine. More than anything, he wanted Fili to hold him, to tell him he didn’t hate him or think less of him.

Instead, he had a cold, lonely campsite, with a bedroll on the hard ground and a few banked coals in his firepit, his only comfort a pile of wood he had gathered before he left. His family thought he was taking a hunting trip, and wouldn’t expect him home for some time.

When he arrived at his campsite, he stirred up the coals into a fire and lowered himself carefully onto his bedroll, trying not to jostle his injuries. Lying on his back, as he preferred, was entirely out of the question. Lying on his left side was quite painful on his left arm, and Kili suspected he would have a deep bruise on his bicep. Lying on his right side sent a pulse of pain through the bruises he _knew_ he would have on his hip. Lying on his stomach put too much pressure on the deep scratches on his chest. He spent the night carefully changing positions, dozing a bit but unable to actually sleep.

In the morning, he made his way slowly to a nearby stream. He undressed, seeing the ravaging his body had taken in the light of day. Bruises mottled his arms and hips, while some of the scratches had drawn blood. He didn’t have a mirror to hand, but when he scrubbed at his face the water came away bloody. He felt carefully, but his nose did not seem broken, only sore. The water also came away bloody when he stepped slowly into the water, submerging his ass and hips. He winced as he reached a hand around behind him, trying to clean himself of the blood and filth the man had left. His mind shied away from the memories of the previous night, and he concentrated on getting clean and on willing away the tears.

~*~

Kili stared at his feet on the road to the house he shared with his mother, uncle, and brother, taking one step at a time, wanting to be safe at home but at the same time dreading his arrival, dreading seeing his family, knowing he would be unable to look anyone in the face. How could he, when he had betrayed the dignity of his family and line? The gold in his pocket clinked, reminding him of the reason he had done so, of the desperate need in their little house.

There was a leaden feeling in the pit of his stomach as the little house came into view. He had never felt such dread when approaching home before, not even when he knew for sure that he was going to be in trouble for some prank. He swallowed nervously, and continued trudging on.

He was close enough to hear his mother’s singing as she did chores when the door flew open and Fili stood in the doorway, staring at Kili for a moment while a broad grin split his face.

“Kili!” Fili shouted, rushing forward to meet him. “You’re back! Did you not find anything worth bringing home?”

Kili forced a smile for his brother. “I did, brought down a buck far afield. Was easier to drag the thing to a town and sell it rather than bring it back here. But enough from me, why are you not at the forge?”

Fili had reached Kili and swept him into a tight embrace. Kili clung tightly for a long moment, glad beyond saying that his shame was not immediately apparent to his shining, golden brother, that Fili could still hold him like this.

“Mother needed my help today with chores,” said Fili. Then he pulled back from the embrace and got his first good look at Kili’s face. “Brother, what happened?!” he cried, reaching a gentle hand out to trace Kili’s cheek and nose. So he _had_ bruised there after all.

“Ah, it’s embarrassing,” Kili said, hedging. “I was excited when I made the shot, on the buck, and wasn’t watching where I was going, and I may have brained myself on a rock.” He faked laughter, hoping Fili would buy the story. He was never comfortable lying to his brother.

Thankfully, Fili seemed to attribute his awkwardness to embarrassment. “So you sold a buck? Was it big? How much did you get for it?”

“Big enough,” said Kili evasively, interrupted from further lies by his mother’s arrival. She was less overcome with exuberance by his arrival, and so noticed the bruises sooner.

“Kili, whatever have you done to yourself!” she cried when she saw him. He gave her a grin that felt more like a grimace, and fed her the same story about killing a deer and hurting himself in the excitement. She looked dubious, but her face brightened when he pressed the gold into her hands. She smiled, and it may have been Kili’s imagination, but she seemed to move easier, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She sent him to put away his things, and before he could take two steps Fili had pulled his pack from his back and taken his hand, dragging him inside. Kili was about to protest, but Fili sent him a look, the sort of look that had been entirely missing from their shared childhood but increasing in recent months, the sort of look that had him almost backing out of his plans dozens of times. It was guilt that closed his throat as he followed Fili into the house, and into their shared room.

Fili dropped his pack with little regard for what it might contain, but before Kili could protest he had wrapped his arms around him once more, this time pressing their foreheads together. Kili froze in his arms.

“I missed you,” Fili murmured, taking a moment and breathing Kili’s air. Fili led him over to sit on the bed and busied himself getting a cloth and cool water. He returned after a moment, and pressed the cloth gently to the bridge of his nose and his cheek.

“Is it really that bad?” asked Kili, anxiously. He hadn’t gotten a chance to see it, whether there was anything about his more visible wounds that would raise suspicions.

“Looks like you lost a fight,” said Fili, giving his brother a mischievous look. “Tell the truth now, was that it? Did you celebrate your kill and successful bargain in a tavern, little brother? Get into a fight, maybe?”

Kili was nearly dizzy with relief, thankful to his brother for giving him a much more believable story. “Well. I’ll never tell,” he said, trying to sound amused.

Fili chuckled, and leaned in closer. “Kili…” he said, “I worried for you the last few nights.” Kili’s heart began to pound. “And I know we haven’t talked much about this, about what there is between us,” and fear began to spread through him, “but I really think that we should—”

“Fili,” Kili interrupted, no longer able to take it, “I don’t think—that is—”

Fili nearly threw himself away from the bed, face a mask of terror. “I’m sorry,” he said in a rush, “I’m so sorry, I thought that you felt—well, clearly you don’t, I’m sorry for bringing it up—”

“It…it isn’t that I don’t feel that way,” said Kili, speaking softly. _It’s just that I don’t deserve it any longer._ But he couldn’t say that. “It’s just that…I just…”

The terror had drained from Fili’s face, replaced slowly by compassion. “It’s all right, Kili,” he said gently, “I can wait, okay? However long you need.” And he approached Kili again, only to press a chaste kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be here,” he said, softly and intimately. Kili suppressed a sob when Fili smiled and left the room. His perfect older brother deserved something pure and beautiful, and there was no way Kili could ever give him what he deserved now.

~*~

Kili stayed in his room until dinner, when he emerged to find his uncle had returned home. They greeted one another, and Kili thought he seemed a bit distant. Fear flooded his body again. Was it possible Uncle might suspect…?

Dinner was a tense affair for Kili, waiting to see if Uncle would accuse him, if he would be told to leave the house and not return. But it wasn’t until after the plates had been cleared that he found any relief.

“So, Kili,” said Uncle, “Your mother tells me you brought home some gold?”

“Yes, Uncle,” he replied, trying to appear as obedient as possible.

“And where did you get this gold?”

“We told you, Uncle, he killed a buck near a town of Men and sold it,” Fili interjected.

Uncle’s eyes flashed toward Fili, and he frowned just a little. He did not respond to the direct address, but leaned forward and stared at Kili. “I do not think you got this much money for bringing down a buck. Not when Men have so often proven to be better hunters than Dwarves. Not when it was so close to their own settlement that any of their own might have brought in such an animal. And especially not when you come home covered in bruises and injuries. Tell the truth, now, Kili, where did you get the money?” Kili felt pure terror, convinced that his uncle had figured out the truth. “Did you steal it?” Uncle continued, and abruptly the terror transformed into relief.

“I didn’t steal the money,” said Kili.

“Of course he didn’t,” Fili said angrily. “How could you accuse him of that? Kili would never act so dishonorably.”

Kili was vaguely aware of Fili’s anger sparking an argument between his uncle and his brother, but his head was still swimming with relief. There was enough sense left in Kili’s mind to be ashamed that he felt relieved to be accused of being a thief, but he was just so glad Uncle did not yet know the truth.

~*~

Two days went by, two days of Uncle being suspicious of Kili, of Fili and Uncle constantly fighting, of Mama saying she didn’t want to take sides, but clearly wondering where the money had come from. Two days, also, of Fili’s smiles, Fili’s looks, Fili’s gentle touches. It was more wearing that Kili ever expected it would be. He isolated himself as best he could; he did not take meals with the rest of his family, and he spent as much time as possible outside. Kili’s bruises were just starting to fade, but were still clearly visible, the ones on his face and the ones he kept hidden alike. 

Everything came to a head on the third day. Kili had spent the day outside again, and was in the room he shared with Fili, changing for bed. When he had his shirt raised above his head, in the process of taking it off, the door opened abruptly and Fili walked in.

“Kili, we really need to talk, you can’t just keep avoiding—oh, I’m sorry, I’ll come—” Fili’s voice cut off, and he did not move, did not even close the door. Kili dropped his shirt and stared anxiously at his brother, who seemed frozen in place, though there was something dark stirring in his eyes. With a pang, Kili remembered that the bruises on his hips were more clearly hand-shaped than those on any other part of his body.

They stood in awkward silence for a few long moments, before Fili stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him. Kili curled into himself, wrapping his arms around his abdomen. Finally Fili’s voice broke the stillness of the room. “Who did that to you?” he asked, his voice low, even, and horribly cold and flat.

Kili flinched, and could not help the small sob that rose in his throat. Perhaps it was better, to be treated this way, to be thought of as the whore he had proven himself to be. He trembled as Fili, his perfect, golden Fili, approached him.

“Kili?” but Fili’s voice was once more soft, warm, and gentle. “Kili, I’m sorry, I was angry at whoever would dare to touch you, you’ve done nothing wrong, please, Kili, just look at me.”

Kili slowly raised his head, looking Fili in the eye. “Please don’t,” he whimpered. “Please, I cannot stand this. It isn’t…I _agreed_ to this. I had to do something to help, I didn’t…I wish…” Kili trailed off, unable to find the words.

Fili’s eyes, meanwhile, widened. “You agreed? Kili, what are you…Oh. Oh, Kili. Don’t tell me that you…that the money…”

Kili was unable to look at his brother as he nodded. “I…I heard of this, this whorehouse in a town of Men some ways away, that…well, they would accept a Dwarf there. And I know that I am not much to look at for a Dwarf, but Men have always found me comely enough, and I was a virgin, so I thought that…that I might…” Kili’s voice began to waver, and the tears that he had held at bay since that night overwhelmed him at last.

Fili had already gone beyond his wildest expectations by not immediately turning away in disgust. Kili was absolutely not expecting to be pulled into Fili’s embrace, to be tucked by strong arms against a broad chest. He sobbed, clutching at Fili’s tunic and burying his face against his brother. He babbled broken apologies amidst the tears, as Fili murmured to him, rubbing his back and reminding him to breathe.

It may have been minutes or hours later that Kili’s sobs tapered off and his breathing returned to normal. Still Fili held him close, keeping him from collapsing to the floor. Eventually, Fili moved them over to sit on the nearest bed, though Kili couldn’t have said which of them it belonged to.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Fili asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Kili was silent for a few long minutes. “I was…I was expecting pain,” he admitted finally, feeling Fili’s arms tighten around him. “But he was…he was rougher than I thought. I didn’t…I told him, when he grabbed me as he did, that I didn’t want…I’m sorry, Fili…I said I’d give the money back if he would just…” Kili broke off, began sobbing again.

“It’s all right, Kili, my sweet Kili, you don’t have to say, just breathe, Kili, just listen to my voice, you’ve done nothing wrong,” said Fili, keeping up a gentle litany of reassurances until Kili gathered himself together again.

“It isn’t…I’ve had injuries before. Worse injuries,” muttered Kili when he was again able to speak. “It isn’t the pain. It was the way he spoke to me, the things he said.” Again, a long moment of silence between them. “He called me…it’s stupid, but it hadn’t really hit me what I was doing until he called me a whore.” Fili made a low, angry noise, but Kili continued before he could speak. “That’s why I can’t…why we can’t…You deserve so much more than just a whore, Fili.”

Fili pulled far enough away from Kili to look him in the eye, and reached out to cup his face as he spoke. “No. Kili, please, don’t ever think that you aren’t worthy of anything or anyone. Least of all me. You are beautiful, and wonderful, and I love you. So much. Please, don’t say anything yet, all right? I told you before, I’ll wait however long you need. I mean that. I’m not going anywhere.”

The out of control sobbing seemed to have tapered off, but tears still ran freely from Kili’s eyes. “I wish it had been you,” he said softly. “I wish I could have given it to you.”

Fili didn’t say anything further, but he held him through the whole night. And for the first time in days, Kili found relief.


End file.
